Another Place and Time
by T'Laina
Summary: Jim finds himself in another place and time. His adventures on the Enterprise and all his friends are now nothing more than a passing dream. Jim has to adjust to being a blind man in the 21st century. Will he ever get back to his crew?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story was heavily inspired by the Star Trek fan video 'another place and time' by MorraMorgenstern and also the episode'The Inner Light' from Star Trek: The Next Generation. You should definitely check both of these out! [Standard Disclaimer]. Reviews appreciated as always... :)**

_Massive cracks started to form in the ceiling of the bridge._

_"Do it, do it, do it!" He exclaimed. He cut the transmission and clenched his hands down firmly on the Captain's chair. He couldn't believe he was in this position- in command of Starfleet's flagship and warring against an insane Romulan. It was incredible. But right now, their position was very serious. Kirk wasn't about to let his ship be sucked into a wormhole seconds after victory. _

_The ship shook violently tossing those on the bridge from side to side. Chekov looked back to Kirk nervously to garner any kind of reassurance from him. Kirk's steel face remained. He quickly looked back to the navigation interface and returned to his task. _

_Lurching._

_With an almighty explosion, the Enterprise was flung forward out of reach of the wormhole. The force was immense, it was worse than being on a rollercoaster. It took all of Kirk's strength not to fall out of his chair. _

_Once the force had eased, Jim sat back in his chair. The bridge was in a stunned silence. Jim's heart was still racing; his thoughts almost came to a complete stop. It was over._

_He looked to Spock. Exhaustion was evident on his face. Spock caught the glance and gave a polite nod to Jim which he returned. Jim let out a sigh and rubbed his face in his hands. _

* * *

With a start, Jim's shockingly blue eyes flew open and he sat up in bed. It was still dark, but then again, it was always dark now. That seemed the norm for a blind man.

He whistled quietly for Jade. The Labrador's head popped up at the end of the bed and made its way down to Jim's side. Jim felt for her and started to give her ears a good rub. Jade seemed pleased by that action and plopped down near Jim's head. She let out a soft whining noise in happiness. Jim loved that noise. He lay back down leaving a hand on the dog as he tried to go back to sleep. Hopefully, the dreams he had of the Enterprise would not return.

* * *

The next day, Jim was planning to take Jade for a big long walk, but Peter had other ideas. Peter was Jim's best friend. They were housemates. It was safer for Jim to live with someone and Peter was the perfect candidate. He reminded Jim of a man he called "Bones" from his dreams.

A few years ago, Jim had become very sick. So sick that he had suffered memory loss. Upon waking up, he had suffered a grand delusion that he was from the 23rd century and that he belonged to a ship named the Enterprise. He hadn't thought it was a delusion then of course, and he also seemed to be unaccustomed to having no vision despite having been born blind.

_"You tell me what the HELL is going on here! Why can't I God-damn see!?"_

_"Mr Kirk, please calm down. You have suffered amnesia, you may be confused for a little while." The doctor had said, trying to console him. _

_A warm hand gripped Jim's._

_"Sweetie, it's mum." A very unfamiliar voice said. "Relax sweet-heart, the Doctors are taking care of you. You've had a terrible fever for a few days now..."_

_"You are not my mother!" Jim exclaimed. "My name is James T. Kirk of the Federation Planet Earth. I demand to know why I have been brought here against my will and how you have altered my vision!" _

_Jim's arms flailed wildly as he tried to pull out an IV and a breathing mask off. His arms were suddenly pulled down and firmly restrained. He felt the sharp sting of a needle slip into his arm and he was soon unconscious. _

That had been 4 years ago. He chuckled slightly as he remembered how confused his family had been over his behaviour. He picked up Jade's restraint and allowed her to lead him out into the kitchen.

"Good morning Jim." Peter said brightly as he flipped over a pancake. Jim sniffed the air. A grin slid onto his face as he sat down at the bench.

"Are you making pancakes?" He said hopefully.

"Sure am buddy." Peter replied. "You need your strength! You remember what we're doing today?"

Jim groaned.

"Yes." He said reluctantly. "I can't do it Pete, what if they don't like it?"

Jim heard Peter set down his spatula and walk over to the bench. Peter put a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"You did this a year ago, you can do it again! It's just the publisher Jim. I'm sure he's going to like this story just as much as he liked the last one!" Peter encouraged.

"Thanks man," Jim said "But this story is different, it's more personal!"

"Your dreams? Are they based on your dreams?"

Jim's face fell slightly. The false memories he had of the Enterprise had overwhelmed him for a long time after his illness. It was only now that he was coming to accept that his crew, his best friend Bones, his loyal first officer Spock... None of them were real. This was real. Earth, 2013. His name was James T. Kirk, the blind man from Iowa.

"Yeah," He said almost sighing. "This one focuses a lot on Khan.."

"The guy who killed you."

"Essentially."

Peter had been instrumental in helping Jim work through his problems. All the stories Jim had about the Enterprise, he told Peter. Peter was fascinated by them but also slightly disturbed that his childhood friend had such strong convictions that the Enterprise and all the people on it were real.

"Well, I'll hand it to ya Jim. The other life you think you lived sure gave you some great story ideas!" Peter said cheekily as he returned to the pancakes. "Oh, they're a bit burnt."

Jim shrugged and scrunched up his face in a non-caring gesture. He heard a plate being set down and hungrily ate up his breakfast.

Today will be a good day, he decided.

"Get your stuff Jim, we'll go soon." Peter said. Jim nodded in response at Peter's general direction.

As Spock would say, Jim thought, it is most illogical to be nervous...


	2. Chapter 2

"A 300 year old mad man being woken up by a rogue admiral to take over the whole Galaxy- fleet thing?" The publisher asked incredulously.

"It's Starfleet, not Galaxy-fleet." Jim corrected.

"Goodness James, where on Earth do you come up with these things?" The publisher questioned.

Jim remembered his dreams, how real they felt. He'd lived a whole other life in the future. It was just like writing a captain's log. His stories were just true facts with a bit of embellishment for dramatic effect.

"Things just come to me, Mr. Maher." Jim replied politely. He shifted slightly in his seat. He listened for any auditory cues that could indicate whether Mr. Maher would accept the book or not. Mr. Maher let out a slight sigh.

"It's good James. I really like it." Mr. Maher started. "But it needs work. Where's the heart and soul of the story? The characters need to be elaborated on- especially the captain. I don't see how he went from a cocky know -it- all to a humble man who sacrificed his life to save his crew."

"Yeah... I don't know how he did either sometimes..." Jim mumbled feeling slightly rejected.

"This doesn't mean no. I love the premise and the story. Just take a little while to polish it off a bit more and I'll give it the go-ahead." Mr. Maher reassured. "People will love it James. Just put a bit more spark in it!"

Jim nodded mutely and stood up. He stuck out his hand for Mr. Maher to shake. He firmly shook the publisher's hand.

"Thank you for your time."

"It was a pleasure James."

* * *

"So, how'd it go?" Peter asked as soon as he had Jim and Jade in the car.

"He said he'll accept it but it needs a bit of work..." Jim said neutrally. He rubbed his hands over his eyes. It had taken a while to readjust to his blindness, including the slight twitching he felt in them from time to time.

"Hm," Peter said. "Well, it's better than 'no' Jim! I can help you make your dictation device work a little better if you'd like."

"Nah, it's working fine. And Emily is amazing helping with the proof-reading." As Jim spoke, Peter's phone rang.

"Ah, speak of the devil." Peter said as he answered the phone. "Hey Emily."

Peter spoke on the phone with Emily for a few minutes and then set the phone down after disconnecting.

"Emily wants us to swing over to her house for a little celebration of your new book. Is that alright?" Peter asked.

"Sounds like a plan!" Jim said grinning.

* * *

Emily slid her hands around Jim's shoulders and pulled him in for a fierce embrace.

"I'm so proud of you Jim! A little more work and you'll have another book on the shelves!"

Jim returned the hug tightly.

"Thanks Em." He said pulling back. He took her hand in his. "I couldn't do it without your help though."

Emily patted his hand in response and gave it a final little squeeze before letting go of it. Peter's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Would you two just hook up already?" He teased.

Emily shot him a glare but Jim just laughed. Emily smacked Jim's arm.

"You two are hopeless!" she exclaimed. Jim looked in Peter's general direction and gave him an unapologetic shrug.

"You jealous Pete?" Jim jibed.

Peter started to chuckle along with Jim. Emily's intense gaze did not leave either of them.

"Aw Emily, you know I'm teasing." Peter said. Emily ignored him and bent down to give Jade a pat. Jade sighed in contentment and relished in the attention.

"You cute little girl!" she cooed.

"Hey, don't spoil her too much!" Jim said hearing his friend speak to his dog. "She'll constantly lead me to your house if you keep up the attention!"

Emily smiled slightly and ceased her patting. If a dog could look offended, Jade did. She skulked back to Jim's side.

"So," Emily brightened up a bit as she spoke. "Who's up for a drink?"

* * *

A few hours and a few too many drinks later, the three were happily spread out in Emily's living room. Peter was lying on the floor on his back.

"You know what?" Peter slurred slightly. "I couldn't ask for two better friends. There's my man Jim, who can't see a bloody thing but writes like he's seen the whole damn universe. And then there's this sweet girl Emily who is intelligent, compassionate and hot!"

Jim gaped slightly. Peter immediately regretted what he had just said, his face started to colour the deepest shade of red imaginable. Emily stared at Peter and then burst into a fit of giggles.

"Oh gosh," she said amongst her laughter. "How much have we had to drink?"

"Probably a bit too much?" Jim postulated. "Let's not hold anything said here tonight against one another..."

"Agreed." Emily confirmed. She was still grinning broadly and Peter's face was still very flushed with embarrassment. She gave him a flirtatious wink and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey," Jim interrupted. "Are you two leaving me out of the loop? I sense something's going on here."

"Who are you? Spiderman?" Peter joked. Emily snorted and took a swig of a half empty wine bottle. She shifted back into the couch and lay down.

"You know Pete, you really are just like Bones. He was always poking fun at me and using all these stupid metaphors and stuff. But it was endearing. I really miss him." Jim said before he could really think about what he was saying.

Emily and Peter exchanged confused glances.

"Jim, Bones is a character in your book." Emily stated carefully. She shuffled over to where Jim was sitting with Jade. Jim let out a long sigh.

_"You were barely dead; it was the transfusion that really took its toll. You were in a coma for two weeks."_

_"Transfusion?"_

_"Your cells were heavily irradiated. We had no choice."_

_"Khan?"_

_"We synthesised a serum from his... super blood. Tell me, are you feeling homicidal, power-mad, despotic?"_

_"No more than usual."_

It's not real! Forget it! Jim thought.

He tried to shunt his deluded memories away.

"You're right. Sorry." Jim put up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm drunk! What can I say?"

Emily gave Jim's shoulder a light and reassuring squeeze before returning to her wine bottle. They sat in companionable silence engrossed in their own thoughts until they all drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't believe you even remember that night Peter! You were piss drunk and it was almost 3 years ago!" Jim exclaimed.

"Seriously! It was the most embarrassing night of my life!" Peter replied. "But I guess it was really the start of me and Emily's relationship..."

"And what a flattering first impression you made. Being totally wasted, lying on the floor and arbitrarily calling her hot." Jim chuckled.

"Well she was! Is!" Peter quickly added.

They were taking a walk around the local park. It was a lovely and warm summer's day. Jim relished the feeling of the heat on his skin, the sun wrapping him in a hug of warmth. A gentle breeze came through the park tousling Jim's slightly overgrown hair. Jade was becoming a bit slow on her feet but led Jim faithfully and carefully around the park.

"So, your last book about Khan was a great success in the end. Got any plans for the third one?" Peter asked.

Jim shrugged.

"Not really," he started. "I mean, the last two were really inspired from my dreams. But now, I barely dream at all. All those characters, I'm not seeing them anymore."

Peter frowned and rubbed his hands together thoughtfully.

"Although it doesn't mean wonders for your career, it's a good sign Jim. You're finally letting go of the delusion. Inspiration will come another way though, don't worry." Peter said gently.

Jim nodded. But what he felt was not reassurance. It was not relief. It was dread. He was forgetting the people he held dear. It didn't matter if they were real or not. He loved them. And they were slowly and painfully being torn away.

Spock.

The one he was destined to remain with forever. But not anymore. Spock hadn't been real for seven years. Spock was _never_ real.

Jim scratched the back of his head nervously. He needed to be alone, but he didn't really know the park they were at too well. He'd need Peter to guide him, but he didn't want to offend him by making them go home early.

A ripple of pain shot through his arm and up into his head. Then there was a jolt of energy that ran through his entire body. He stumbled forward slightly.

Searing, burning in the back of his eyes.

"Are you OK Jim?"

Jim's hands trembled as he pushed them onto his face, trying to mask the incredible pain behind his eyes which was stretching into his brain. Another jolt of energy went through his body and he fell forward. His body shook with spasms. He felt Peter's hand on his arm.

"Help!" Peter called as he pulled out his mobile phone.

Jim struggled to contain the shaking of his body. The pain was overwhelming as he finally lost consciousness.

* * *

"Captain? Jim?"

Jim had heard that voice before. It was smooth... formal. Like the Vulcan he knew from his dreams.

His eyes slowly fluttered open. The light! It was so bright! How was he seeing?

The pain suddenly returned with full force.

"Ahh..." He groaned clutching onto his head with both his hands. The sudden ability to see was adding to the pain, his eyes were unaccustomed to so much light. He turned over slightly in the bed he was laying in to see who was addressing him.

Spock.

It was him. Jim shook his head in disbelief. A feeling of unimaginable joy swelled up in Jim's heart despite his immense pain.

"Captain, listen. There is little time. We cannot keep you revived for much longer."

Jim was completely bamboozled at how he was seeing Spock. This wasn't a dream. The pain was too real.

"Jim," Spock started again. "We-"

A pain shot through Jim's heart and he clutched it tightly with his hand crying out loud.

"He's going." A worried Southern voice said. A cool Vulcan hand gripped Jim's tightly.

"Do not give up, my friend."

* * *

"You can come in now Emily." The nurse told her.

"Thank you."

Jim lay in the hospital bed connected to all sorts of tubes and drips. He seemed to be awake but very groggy due to the drugs pumping through his system. As he heard Emily approach, a small smile graced his face.

"You gave us quite the scare Jim. Don't ever have a heart attack again, you hear?" she chided. "Where are your parents?"

"They left about 10 minutes ago to get some rest. Where's your boyfriend?" Jim asked.

"Peter's gone back to your place to check on your dog. He's been here with you for quite some time. Jade had been home alone too long." She replied. "You've been out for a few days."

Jim sighed and moved his legs around a bit trying to get comfortable in the relatively unpleasant hospital bed.

"God, you look like hell." She said quietly moving over to sit by his side.

"I did just have a heart attack." He said almost teasingly.

"No, I mean, something looks different about you. Like you've seen a ghost. Well, you know, not actually seen one but you get my point."

Jim's face saddened slightly. If he could confide in anyone, Emily was someone who could be trusted.

"I went back." He stated cryptically.

"What?"

"I was back on the Enterprise. Spock. He was there. He touched me, he told me not to give up on them."

Emily cursed internally and placed her head into her hands. She rubbed her temples methodically and took a few breaths before responding.

"It was a dream Jim." She replied patiently.

"No. It was real. I could see again, I felt things like they were real. The crew must have caused my heart attack; they're trying to get me back somehow. Now all I have to do is try to find a way to help them."

A strange kind of hurt spread through Emily. She could no longer contain her thoughts.

"Damn it Jim!" She exclaimed. "We've been patient with you for all these years with your unusual memories. It was tough on all of us having to get to know you again and help you adjust. Especially Peter. You're constantly running back to _them_. Stay with us here Jim. For the love of God, just stay in reality!"

Jim winced slightly at her unexpectedly forceful words. There was a pregnant pause in the conversation.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear. But I saw them. With my own eyes, not my mind. I come from somewhere else Emily." He said with conviction trying to convey as much emotion to her as he could.

"You don't like your life with your friends. Your family? Is that it? You want an escape?" Emily seethed slightly. Jim turned away from her. A pang of guilt struck her. "I'm sorry Jim, I know you don't need to deal with this right now."

He gave a short sign of acknowledgement but said nothing more. Emily took this as her cue to leave. She leaned over Jim's bed and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Get well Jim."

And she meant it in more ways than one.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave a review! It means the world!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for bearing with me so far! And to the lovely reviewers- you're all wonderful. :)**

* * *

Jim sat and leaned against the grand oak. If he could see, he would have had a beautiful vision of the sun setting over his property that he had bought 4 years ago.

It was a welcome escape from the hustle and bustle of the city. Ever since his heart attack 8 years ago, he needed a bit less stress in his life. It was most unfortunate that the incident that occurred during his heart attack actually caused more stress than expected.

Peter. Emily. His family.

They were sick of the delusions that Jim believed in firmly. It was Enterprise _this _or Enterprise _that_. They hadn't disowned him. They were just not affirming or understanding that what Jim experienced was real. Jim couldn't handle the hostility. He still loved them all very much. But his soul told him there was something, someone, waiting out there in the stars.

Jim moved to live an isolated life in the country. It wasn't as hard as he expected. The peace and lack of judgment from others was doing wonders. He could still do his writing and Jade had lots of room to exercise around the acres of land.

_Had._

Jim ran his fingers softly over the gravestone which had her name etched into it. The oak tree sheltered the grave site, its great and mighty branches guarded Jade's soul. His companion of over a decade, the only one who understood Jim... was gone. Her vibrancy and love erased. Jim still remembered vividly the day she died.

* * *

Jim had woken up in the night as he often did and whistled to her. The warmth on his feet remained still. He whistled for her again. There was still no response. He leaned up in bed, his back aching slightly and reached out his hands toward her. A still form met him. She was curled up into a ball, her head on her front paws; her body was still warm. He leapt out of bed and went to her side.

"Jade." He had said firmly, shaking her gently to wake up. There was nothing. Jade was gone. Jim scrunched up her fur into his hands and put his face near hers, clinging to his companion.

"No..." he choked. He lay holding her and crying for an indeterminate amount of time. The property was completely silent except for the muffled sobs of a man mourning his dog.

These years have been so hard, Jim had thought, How will I do it without you my precious girl?

"Godspeed Jade."

* * *

His thoughts returned to the present as he heard someone approach him. He stood up wary. He didn't often receive guests.

"Mr. Kirk?" the man asked. Jim nodded mutely as he grabbed his cane and walked towards the man.

"I have a message to tell you from Emily and Peter Stewart. They would like you to be informed of the birth of their second child, a boy whom they have called James in your honour. They would very much like to see you again and they request you ring them on the telephone or send an email to catch up."

Jim had not answered his phone in quite some time; he wasn't surprised that a messenger had been sent around. Emily and Peter had been married in the height of the hostilities and so he had not been invited to the wedding. Jim couldn't have been more heartbroken. He had dreamed of the day where he could stand with Peter as his best man and support his friend.

Things were friendlier again now, but the intimate friendship they had was forever gone. Jim was slightly surprised at the naming choice for their child, but it was flattering. Peter obviously recognised that Jim was still his friend, even if they drove each other insane at times. He would give them a call later to say congratulations. This new child was a reminder of his age. Had it really been 15 years since he'd lost his memory or rather, since he'd been on the Enterprise?

"Thank you."

The messenger turned on his feet and walked away whistling an old tune that Jim thought he recognised.

* * *

_With me, disaster finds a playfield,_

_Love seems to draw dark, twisted pleasure tearing at me,_

_Cos I can't let you go._

_Another place and time, without a great divide_

_And we could be flying deadly high_

_I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake._

* * *

Jim hummed the tune to himself as the sun dipped down and allowed the night to overtake the sky. A chill passed through Jim and he started to head back to the house. He then recognised the sound of footfalls once more. He spun around on the dirt track back to the house.

"Who's there?" He said forcefully. He didn't like not knowing who was approaching.

"There is no need for alarm, Jim." A familiar voice said. "I have been and always shall be your friend."


	5. Chapter 5

"I have been and always shall be your friend."

Jim screwed up his face in confusion. The Elder Spock had once said that to him the first time they had met on Delta Vega. But this didn't sound like the Elder. It couldn't be _his_ Spock either. It had been so long, the Enterprise would have given up on him. Spock coming back would be too good to be true.

"Who are you?" he asked cautiously.

The man frowned slightly. He took a few steps towards Jim. Through the darkness, he peered at Jim's face. His eyes... they were not focused.

"You are blind." The man stated.

"No shit." Jim muttered. He'd had enough of this guy. He turned back around and headed towards his house. This guy could observe him all he wanted, he wasn't taking any of it.

"Jim! Stop."

Jim stopped again. But didn't turn around.

"What do you want!?" he called.

The man ran towards Jim urgently.

"I am Spock."

Jim thought he was going to have another heart attack. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and he had trouble regaining his ability to breath.

"Spock isn't real..." He whispered. "He hasn't been for 15 years. How could you be Spock?"

Spock took Jim's hand in his very gently. Jim was surprised at the action, but didn't resist. He was used to people being a bit more tactile with him now. Spock raised Jim's hand up to his own face and let Jim's fingers touch the points on his ears. Jim inhaled sharply, he felt the ears more thoroughly to make sure. He couldn't speak. This was too much to handle.

A tear of relief slipped down Jim's cheek. He pulled Spock in for the tightest hug he had ever given someone. He buried his head into Spock's shoulders and started to sob. Surprisingly, Spock returned the hug just as firmly. He allowed himself to console Jim.

As Jim poured out his emotions in a way that Spock had never seen before, Spock took the opportunity to observe Jim physically. His blonde hair was interspersed by the occasional grey hair and it was quite overgrown from the way he used to wear it. He still appeared to be fit, but was slightly lacking in his muscle tone.

Jim withdrew from the hug but stayed very close to Spock. Spock observed the soft lines of age that had started to grace Jim's face. It was slightly shocking to see. And of course, those beautiful blue eyes. They were still the same alluring colour, but they lacked a focus point. They wandered around not settling on anything.

The stars shone brightly above them. The lack of bright lights in the countryside meant there was a beautiful array of celestial wonders at night. Not that Jim could appreciate them.

It was time to return to those stars.

In another place and time.

Carefully, Spock reached forward with his hand and settled on Jim's psi points. He closed his eyes slowly, creating his focus.

"May I?"

Jim nodded his consent.

_ Entering Jim's mind was like entering a battle zone. Two lives warred against each other in his mind. There were two distinct personas in a battle for dominance but there was a slight merging of them in the middle. _

_Spock stood at the edge of Jim's consciousness and tried to immerse himself into it. He wanted to ease the pain of the battle between the warrior Captain Kirk and the equally strong but blind James Kirk. Spock perceived two different streams of memory; two lives. His friend was struggling with being who he truly was. Spock merged with Jim's mind and he felt the pleasant emotions this caused in Jim. _

_'Please Spock. Help me. Where have you been all these years?'_

_'I have been by your side the entire time Jim. You just did not know it. '_

_'Who am I really? How is the life I lived with you any more real than this one?'_

_'Let me show you. It is time to go home.' _

_A pulling sensation encompassed Jim. He suddenly felt like he was being pulled from very deep water. He started to struggle for breath and reached out for Spock's consciousness. _

_Grasping._

_More pulling._

_'Spock, what are you doing?'_

_A drowning sensation overtook him once more. The pull towards where he truly belonged was becoming weaker. _

_'Persist, my friend.' _

_One last movement. Deep breaths._

_A dazzling light overtook Jim's vision._

* * *

Jim jerked forward violently and his eyes sprung open.

Sight, he'd never forget what a gift it was again. His mouth was dry and his muscles felt somewhat stiff.

The sharp sting of a hypospray was felt on his neck.

"Good work Spock," he heard Dr. McCoy say. "It was a good idea on your part."

Spock and Bones came into his line of vision. Without a second's hesitation, he leapt out of his biobed and threw his arms around the both of them.

"Hey kid! No running around. Get back into that bed!" Bones said as he returned the hug that Jim was giving him.

"I thought I'd never see you again Bones." Jim said to him, eyes sparkling with happiness. "God, you've aged well!"

Bones looked very confused. He chuckled slightly.

"What are you talking about Jim? You were only out 2 days..." He replied.

Jim looked at Bones aghast. He looked to his own hands; they now lacked the lines and roughness he had accumulated. They were smooth and young.

"Right," He said slightly embarrassed. "Sorry about that. I'm just a little disoriented."

Fifteen years of life... were now nothing. His life in the past had its trials, but it had joy in it too. The friendships, his writing career, his acres of property... Jade. They all mattered. But he didn't know where they fit anymore.

Spock frowned slightly at Jim.

"Doctor, please leave the Captain and I for a moment."

Bones grumbled. Even though Spock was a superior officer, he still didn't like being ordered around.

"Yes sir." He muttered as he walked into his office.

"Spock," Jim said quietly. "What the hell happened? I just lived fifteen damn years as a blind man! You gonna tell me it was only 2 days?"

"Yes Jim. Yesterday, we tried to revive you, but you went into cardiac arrest."

"Yesterday!" Jim exclaimed. "Yesterday?! I had a heart attack 8 years ago Spock!"

Spock said nothing and allowed Jim to vent his frustration. Jim screwed up his fists into balls.

"Tell me what happened Spock."

"Very well. Two days ago, sensors picked up an unidentified probe. We dropped out of warp to investigate." Spock explained. "Once we were in scanning range, we tried to externally access the probe's computers to identify the owner."

Jim looked at Spock and nodded.

"I remember that much."

"Unfortunately, our scans triggered an alarm in the probe and a pulse was sent through the ship. It did not affect any systems. But it caused you to lose consciousness."

Jim sat down back on the bed and rubbed his face with his hands. His emotions were in a whirl.

"We took you to sickbay and put you under the care of Dr. McCoy. He could not revive you with any conventional medicine. He did note, however, that the probe was somehow linked to your brain and was interfering with its normal functioning. When the Doctor thought he had found a way to revive you, the result was almost fatal."

"So how am I here now? Why am I not dead?"

"I suggested to Doctor McCoy that he allow me to perform a mind meld on you to gently bring you back to reality. He objected strongly of course, but he realised after some logical reasoning that it was the only way. I was able to pull your consciousness back to reality without causing harm to your body."

Jim groaned slightly.

"This is actually goddamn insane. Ugh, everything is so bright in here."

He started to pace around the room under the steady watch of Spock.

"I wanted _this_, the Enterprise, so much. I craved it for over a decade but never expected anything. But now, I feel divided. They were my family. We fought and quarreled, but I _loved _them so much. I never thought that I could love people who I'd never even seen. I had to get to know them Spock, based on more than sight. Based on their hearts. I don't think I'd ever done that before then."

Spock stood quietly for a few moments, absorbing what Jim was saying.

"Jim, what we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us. However illogical it sounds, the things most precious in the universe cannot be perceived with sight. They cannot be heard and they cannot be touched. They can only be felt with one's heart."

Emily and Peter. He had never seen them. But he knew them. They were a part of his heart. A precious memory that he could not visualise; only feel.

Both men were silent as they contemplated their own thoughts. A hail broke through the reverie.

"Ensign Chekov to Commander Spock. Your presence is requested on the Bridge."

"What is the problem Ensign?"

"We are being hailed sir. By the probe."

Spock locked eyes with Jim.

"Acknowledged."

* * *

**A/N: This was a tough one to write. Stay tuned. **


	6. Chapter 6

Spock and Jim strode onto the bridge side by side. Jim had missed this room so much. It had haunted his dreams for years, but now that he was back, it made him feel alive again.

"Keptin on the bridge." Chekov chirped.

"Play the transmission Lieutenant Uhura." Spock ordered.

"Aye sir." She responded. "It is not a live feed Commander. It is a pre-recorded message."

The viewscreen was overtaken by the image of a man and a woman sitting next to each other. They appeared to be in some sort of spacecraft. What was most alarming about them was their eyes. They were completely hazed over with a light blue colour. Besides that, they looked fairly humanoid with only a few discrepancies here and there.

The message started to play.

"We are the Nohvari." The woman said.

Jim suddenly gripped the side of the captain's chair. He felt like he was about to throw up. He could recognise that melodic voice anywhere.

It was Emily. The sweet girl Emily he had known.

Which meant the man sitting next to her must be Peter. They looked nothing like Jim had expected them to. Emily had soft blonde hair and extremely pale skin. Peter had more tanned skin and light brown hair. The bitter sweetness in seeing them was almost overwhelming. For fifteen years he had wondered what they looked like, he could only imagine. And now, the time when he finally got his wish, he could not be present with them.

Emily continued to speak.

"If you are receiving this transmission, you have come into contact with our probe and no doubt had an interesting experience."

The bridge crew looked at each other somewhat confused. The crew had been kept in the dark about the nature of the Captain's condition. He was simply thought to be very unwell. There wasn't any reason to alarm them unnecessarily.

"We won't bother informing you of the date of this transmission. It would be meaningless. This is our token. Our token to the universe before we are removed from it. This probe is launched in the hopes that someone may experience what life as a Nohvari was like. What we valued."

Emily stopped as her voice cracked slightly. She started to wipe away a tear from her blank eye. Peter clasped her shoulder. He spoke for her.

"Our home planet, Nohvar, was overrun several years ago by the Polec people. We were ... are a peaceful people. The Polec thought we were useless because our species are all without sight. They started to kill us, we didn't make good slaves for them. We personally have escaped on a shuttlecraft to launch this probe.

"What you have just experienced was a mild version of our lives. The computer would have put you into a familiar environment. You would have faced opposition, people treating you as delusional, but we hope that you have learnt to love like we do.

"We have no sight, but we have vision. We did not want to be slaughtered out of existence for a so-called flaw, when really we have the best thing of all. The connectedness of hearts, a vision beyond the physical. "

Emily summoned her courage back and began to speak again.

"We will not be forgotten. The Polec may take our lives, but they will never have our love."

The bridge crew was absolutely enraptured with the duo even though they did not know the full circumstances or what they truly meant. Jim's hand was resting over his mouth gently. He removed it and tried to take slow and steady breaths.

Emily and Peter intertwined hands.

"We are not an inferior species. Let it be known that the Polec may have won in taking over our planet and murdering innocent people, but the spirit of the Nohvari will never die. Hopefully, you will now live on with our spirit." Peter said solemnly.

Jim's heart hammered strongly in his chest. He felt Spock's presence by his side and was only slightly comforted by that. What he had experienced, it had been real for other people. He had kindred spirits. He would take up the challenge. The Nohvari would indeed not be forgotten; he would show that through the way he lived.

"Do not mourn us, friend. Remember us, live for us. Do our spirit proud." Emily said smiling slightly.

Peter placed his hand on her cheek. She nodded at him and her smile widened; her face was still slightly tear-stained.

The transmission ended.

Jim stood by his Captain's chair absolutely floored. He was part of a legacy, a noble legacy. The experience he had wasn't just about being informed who the Nohvari were. It was about _knowing_ who they were. Knowing their way of life. Jim felt honour mixed with sadness. There were no records of the Nohvari race in history books, they must have been eliminated centuries ago. He felt like he had just lost his planet and people as Spock had with Vulcan.

Jim didn't realise that the bridge had turned to him waiting for his orders.

"Captain." Spock said breaking Jim out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Sulu, use a tractor beam to pull the probe into the cargo hold." Jim said trying to sound firm. He'd somewhat forgotten how to use his commanding voice.

"I will have a science team examine it as soon as possible." Spock noted to Jim. Jim acknowledged him.

"You have the bridge Commander."

* * *

It was 0400 hours. Jim stood on the deserted observation deck and watched as the stars flew past. They had gone back to warp a few hours ago.

The sparkling stars illuminated Jim's eyes as he looked out the window. How he had missed this. The galaxy to explore, a ship at his command, a loyal crew.

The crew may ask questions about the probe. Jim would tell them he underwent a simulation. But he wouldn't be specific. Only Spock could know. He was the one who rescued him after all. His other life would remain his. His memories, the loves and losses, the new ways of thinking. They would be his and his alone. But those around him would benefit from his new-found self.

A more mature and knowing captain, one who carried on the Nohvari legacy.

A familiar swoosh was heard and the doors to the observation deck were opened. Spock entered as Jim turned to see him.

"I hope I am not intruding Jim." He said quietly.

"Of course not Spock. You're always welcome." Jim replied indicating to Spock that he should stand with him.

They stood in companionable silence as they watched the vastness of the galaxy go by. Spock was calculating the risk of mentioning counselling to Jim when Jim decided to do some talking of his own.

"I had the most gorgeous guide dog. Her name was Jade. A loyal and faithful dog she was." Jim remembered, smiling fondly.

"I see."

"Aw, come on Spock. Surely you had a great pet at some point?" Jim jibed.

"I did." Spock confirmed. "It was a Vulcan animal known as a sehlat who was named I-Chaya."

"I bet Jade was cuter than I-Chaya." Jim teased. Spock simply sighed.

They slipped into a playful conversation in the early hours of the morning.

Two lives resided in Jim, but they were gradually becoming one. They did not make him weaker, but stronger. The noble legacy of an alien race was engraved in Jim's heart. He could live this life without forgetting the other.

_I'll dream you wide awake._

* * *

**A/N: This is probably the end my friends. Thank you for your lovely reviews and encouragement. It has been a blast to write this and I hope you have enjoyed reading. Feedback on absolutely anything is always appreciated. Until we meet again. **


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